January 11, 2015

On Those Days You Just Can't Be Positive

I try hard to find something to be thankful for every day, and I do succeed at that. Still, some days I just can't be upbeat. This is one of those days.

Five years ago, I had a job, a car and a house. In 2010, my entire world fell apart, and I've been bouncing from pillar to post every since. I'm trying hard to be strong. Everybody tells me I'm strong, but they don't know how I really feel. That's one thing you learn as a young girl growing up in the South -- never tell anyone how you really feel. Put on a smile and pretend everything is o.k.

It's not o.k. I'm trying hard to make it o.k. again, but right now, it really isn't. I was shattered by so many things in my life, and I've managed to put a lot of the pieces back together, but there are still gaping holes and the cracks all still show. Every once in awhile, one of the pieces will fall back out, and I'll have to glue it back in as best I can. They never seem to stay in place for long.

This is one of those days I just can't be upbeat and hopeful. Today, I'm very, very sad and feeling very, very broken and wondering if I will ever be whole again.

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